


Do You Remember What Makes You Happy?

by Pumpkaboos



Category: Captain America (Movies), Fallout 4, Marvel Cinematic Universe
Genre: Alternate Universe - Fallout, Amnesia, Angst, Canon-Typical Violence, Depression, Established Relationship, M/M, Missing Persons, Multi, Post-Serum Steve Rogers, Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder - PTSD
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2016-06-17
Updated: 2016-06-17
Packaged: 2018-07-15 14:05:38
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,623
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7225387
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Pumpkaboos/pseuds/Pumpkaboos
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Steve and Bucky were ready to settle down together after the war, they were glad to finally be together after so long. They didn't want to see another battlefield, but they're forced to live through war again, this time 200 years after. </p>
<p>Bucky is gone, and Steve is on a desperate search for him in a world he no longer knows.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Do You Remember What Makes You Happy?

**Author's Note:**

> The Stucky fallout AU that no one asked for but I wanted to write. It's based off of Fallout 4 mostly. More tags will be added as the story progresses 
> 
> Enjoy!

Steve remembered the day the bombs dropped like it was yesterday. Hell, to him it was yesterday. He vividly remembered him and Bucky fighting in the war. They had been drafted when it got really bad, when they needed anyone they could get their hands on to fight. The world was once so great, like a sci fi film with house cleaning robots and cars. Atomic energy made life amazing, but it also took life away. They both had to learn that the hard way. People fought for resources, and it felt like there was no hope. Steve remembered, there was no end in sight. At least, it felt like there was no end to the war. The only part that made it worth it was Bucky. 

Him and Buck, they were friends since they were kids. They were fortunate, they had a carefree life until the war. Life was nice, even though Steve and Bucky weren't really that well off. They grew up in Brooklyn together, took care of each other. Or, that's how Bucky always saw it. 

Steve never really considered their relationship as easy as it sounded. Bucky took care of him, because Steve was weak and small, picking fights all the time to prove a point. Steve could hear it now, that laugh that Bucky made whenever he cleaned him up after a fight. 

"You're a stubborn punk, ya know that Stevie?" Bucky would reply as he cleaned him up from yet another fight that he lost. Bucky had to run in and save him from getting his ass kicked too much. It always ended in Bucky giving him a lecture that he'd never listen to. "Seriously, you'll never learn, I swear." He would say and roll his eyes. 

"You don't have to do this alone." Steve _always_ heard him say. Even now, he could hear it in his head. The world was so different now, and he truly felt alone. Bucky was the only person that ever understood him, especially after experiencing the horrors of war first hand. 

Steve wished that he was back in that time, honestly. Before they were forced to go to war. Well, before Bucky was forced to go to war. Steve was too small, too fragile then to do anything of any significance. He would just weigh them down.

He tried, boy did he try. There was only so much he could do back then. Then he met a woman that change his life forever.

Her name was Peggy Carter, and she had a solution to his problem. It was experimental, and no one knew if it would work, but it was worth a shot. 

"It's called the Forced Evolutionary Virus, or FEV for short." She said, "we've been working on a substance that can stop viruses and illnesses, make our soldier immune to chemical attacks. It makes people stronger and faster," she continued. 

"What's stopping you from using it on everyone, then?" Steve asked. He wasn't sure how he felt about all this. Part of it felt /wrong/. Especially since they weren't taking full advantage of it.

"Well, Mr. Rogers, it's because you would be compatible with it. It can affect people differently... But with our tests, it shouldn't harm you. Also, because of your strong morals as well, you would be perfect. You could be the hero we need in this desperate time..." She said, voice trailing off.

Peggy gave him files to read, about their research and how it could change things. Steve was concerned, of course, because there was no guarantee that any of this would work for him, for them. He had to try. It felt like their only hope. The war wasn't going well, by any means, and time was running out. 

Steve agreed to the procedure. 

\-----

Steve remembered, he never felt so /alive/ before now. He was so much stronger, he could easily beat the strength of an average man. He didn't have asthma anymore, he could breathe clearly for the first time in his life. No wheezing or coughing, no more pneumonia. He wasn't small and weak anymore. He could fight in the war, or as Peggy had put it, be the face of the American people. A hero to them.

That wasn't Steve's original motive. His end goal wasn't to be a hero. He just wanted to help his country, fight for his country. He was going to help them win the war, he knew it. He wanted to fight for Bucky, so they could have a better life _together_.

Even now, Steve couldn't remember how long he was in war, how long he was fighting. That was the problem with war, Steve had days where he never felt like he left the battle field. He felt alert, focused. Him and Bucky would both jump at sounds, they couldn't handle loud noises. Bucky had nightmares from some of the things he did, the things he was forced to do. He still had nightmares from when he was taken, and Steve was still helping him pick up the pieces. 

After the war, neither of them were perfect, but they were trying.

He remembered after it was all over, him and Bucky found a place in Massachusetts. They both liked the scenery there, it was so much different from Brooklyn. They settled down in a quiet town together. They both needed quiet. Bucky had lost his arm in the war, and they both had some mental blocks that they had to try to get past. They were more than ready to settle down and have a quiet life. 

It was all they ever wanted. 

He remembered everything that happened that day. It felt like /yesterday/. They were talking, Bucky was cooking breakfast for them on the stove. Eggs over easy and toast. Steve asked him for that, snaked his arms around Bucky's waist as he cooked. Steve left him for a moment to go get the paper on the coffee table. He stopped when he heard the news report. 

Bombs were being dropped, cities were being wiped out. They had lost contact with New York and California.

Then the sirens went off. 

Steve turned around and saw Bucky, stilled by the stove and going into a panic attack at the loud sirens. The bomb sirens. They both vividly remembered the sound of those sirens. 

"Buck, we need to get out of here, we need to get to the vault!" He said and ran over to him, grabbing him from where he was frozen in place. 

"W-what's happening Steve? I-is this a drill?" He asked, voice shaking and quiet, barely audible over the sirens. 

Steve wrenched him from his place and started dragging him out the door. "No! We have to go Buck, the bombs, the war. We have to go!" He said and tugged him out the door, body going into autopilot. They needed to leave. Now. 

Masses of people were running to the vault, and Steve and Bucky weren't far behind them. "Come on Buck, faster!" Steve ordered frantically. He forgot that Bucky didn't have the same abilities as he did. He was still normal, and too panicked to properly run after him. Bucky was a prisoner of war for a while, and there were still things he refused to talk about. Things that made him scared.

Steve could tell that Bucky was absolutely _terrified_. 

Steve practically had to drag him to the vault. 

People were outside the wire fence, screaming to be let in. Steve managed to push to the front of the line. He had to get Bucky to safety. That was his priority, and he was _right there_.

"Rogers, Steve Rogers and James Barnes." He said to the guy at the gate with a list. He was the one keeping all these people out. Steve was horrified, seeing them desperate and crying, just trying to get in. He could hear their cries over the roar of the sirens. Steve couldn't forget hearing their desperate pleas and cries.

Bucky was shaking, practically leaning on Steve now while he tried to get past the mental breakdown he was having. It was like war all over for him. Steve was better at handling these situations than he was, that was why Steve always helped him through his sudden and harsh panic attacks. 

"They're on the list, go ahead Mr. Rogers, Mr. Barnes. Go to the platform." The guard said and moved aside for them, only letting them get into the vault. The other desperate people were shoved away by soldiers, others were in power armor with miniguns. He knew why they were there, if the civilians got to chaotic and rowdy. Steve didn't want to look away but he had to. He had to get him and Bucky to safety. 

Steve pulled Bucky with him. He didn't mean to be so rough with Bucky, but it was urgent. "Come on Buck, we're almost there." He said, making it onto the platform with him.

Bucky was still shaking, breathing unsteady and labored as he gripped Steve tightly, like he was the only thing keeping him there, the only thing keeping him somewhat aware of his surroundings. "S-Steve I'm scared," he said, then there were more screams as a bomb went off in the distance, mushroom cloud filling the air with debris, gas, _vaporizing heat_.

"Get 'em down!" Someone screamed as the platform lowered into the ground, right as shockwaves whipped through the surface.

Bucky was still shaking, letting out a terrified cry into Steve's chest as he held onto him for dear life. His body wracked with sobs, collapsing into him when the others started piling out of the elevator. Steve remembered Bucky's prosthetic arm bruising his skin from gripping him so _tightly_.

"It's okay Buck, we made it." Steve said gently, running a hand through Bucky's hair, hoping to calm him a little. To at least get Bucky to move with him. "Let's go start our new life." He said, smile strained as he thought about all those poor people on the surface that weren't let in, that were obliterated by the bombs. 

Bucky nodded but didn't say anything. He managed to pull away from him and started following the others. Steve was worried about him, Bucky never handled panic attacks well at all. He was afraid for him, just that alone was so much for Bucky to take in. Life on the surface was gone. It was gone in _seconds_. Buck had to have been feeling so disoriented, terrified. Their peaceful life was painfully ripped from them. 

"Just go get your vault suits and follow our doctor." A lady said to them as they walked in. 

Bucky was hesitant, but took the vault suit and changed into it quickly. Steve changed into his, looking around at the others before taking Bucky's hand and following the doctor. 

"It'll be okay, Buck." Steve said in his ear, then kissed his hair. "We're alright." 

Bucky stayed quiet and nodded, just squeezing Steve's hand and looking at the floor. Bucky was desperately trying to process everything. Steve knew that was why he had gone so quiet, so shy as he avoided the gazes of the other people around them.

Steve wanted to go back and get them out of that god forsaken vault, do something. They were both lured in by the promise of safety from the radiation. Hell, maybe they should've just died in their house, it might have been better than what really happened. 

They were ushered into these pods, they were "called" decontamination pods, but they were much worse. Steve got in, and Bucky got into the one across from him. It was supposed to be quick and simple, just decontaminate so they could start their lives, but then Steve felt cold rip through his body like a knife. 

"W-what are they..." He muttered as he started to freeze. He watched with wide eyes, as Bucky was frozen before his eyes. "N-no..." He mumbled, body being quickly taken over by the cold. Because of his changes, it took him a little longer to freeze.

To this day, he didn't think that ever happened. Like it was some sort of fucked up dream. 

Eventually Steve froze, hand on the window as he tried to get his muscles to work before the froze up completely. He wanted him and Bucky to be safe, wanted Bucky to be /safe/, but he couldn't do that right.

He remembered waking up at some point, still freezing cold and barely able to move, and that's when he saw it. 

They opened up Bucky's cryo-chamber. He saw it. Bucky was shivering and cold, barely able to move as someone viciously tugged him out, onto the floor and he watched him fall. No.

No that wasn't happening.

They were talking with Bucky, interrogating him. When he didn't answer, he was viciously hit, slapped across the face before being dragged out of view by his hair. Blood on his face, still shivering with cold before he was pulled away, trying to scream but Steve couldn't hear it.

Steve weakly hit at the door, trying to get it to open. Where was his strength now? "No..." He muttered, pounding at the door before he was frozen again. "B-Buck.." The name died on his lips.

\----

Steve wasn't sure what happened to him after that. Eventually he woke up, opening his eyes and becoming conscious again to the sight of the empty cryo pod across from him. Steve willed his body to work, pushing at the front until it finally opened. 

He remembered collapsing onto the floor, body wracked with shudders as he tried to get himself to move. He saw blood on the floor, where they had _hit_ Bucky. The memories came back as clear as ever.

He had to get up. He had to go find Bucky.

Those were his thoughts as he ran through the vault, slowing to look at all of the other frozen people. Their life support was of. He was horrified, gut twisting as he felt ill. All of these people were _dead_. They died with hopes of survival, with the hopes of starting a new life. 

Instead they got this. 

Steve found some supplies after running around a bit, getting a few guns as well as health supplies. He didn't know what was out there waiting for him. At the time, he didn't know what the world was like.

Even now, he was still in shock of everything. 

Steve had been out of the vault for weeks now, slowly adjusting to everything around him. Giant bugs, mutated animals sometimes sprouting multiple heads. There were people that had become _monsters_ because of the radiation. Some of them were still aware, talkative. Steve were fine with them, the other people that seemed to live in this time didn't take so kindly to _ghouls_. 

Everything was still so overwhelming. Steve tried to ask around, asking people about Bucky. There wasn't much luck. Everyone he had talked to didn't really care to help him, and if they did, they only wanted money. The ones that were nice to him never could help out much, just offer up places to look for him. 

Steve was desperate to find him. Bucky was alone and scared out there somewhere. He had to be, Bucky knew how to survive, knew how to keep his wits when desperate times called for it, when Steve wasn't there to help him. Steve was so afraid, he tried not to think about if Bucky had died, if the people that took him killed him.

Steve promised that if he had to tear the wasteland apart looking for him, he would do it.

**Author's Note:**

> Thanks for reading, hope you'll stick around for the next chapter!
> 
> Hit me up on [ Tumblr](http://kittykatkovic.tumblr.com)


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